Quit It!

A quick follow-up to my most recent two columns: yes, I still believe that nice people finish first; and yes, somehow I haven't yet given up on my desire to become a "morning person."

However, getting up early and seeing the best in the people around me haven't yet meshed together. The fact is I'm cranky. This getting up early business is for the birds, I'll tell you. It would be fine if I could get to bed before midnight, but so far that hasn't happened. I'm finding that the more tired I get, the more likely I am to notice -- and be affected by -- little things.

Here in the Northeast, there are lots of people in very small open spaces. In our town squares (and yes, we still call them that), tens of thousands of people walk through tiny, crowded areas every day. Try as I might to avoid the crowds, it seems I'm always stuck in some line or at some crosswalk with scores of strangers there, too. Lately -- in my sleep-deprived state -- I've become acutely aware of about 100 things that people really don't need to do in a town square, or any city setting, or even at a shopping mall, for that matter. If you're going to play nice with the world, take my advice: here's a short list of things NOT to do.

1. Unless it's a life-threatening emergency, don't honk your horn. The guy in the car in front of you doesn't care what you want -- if he did, he wouldn't be sitting at a green light talking on his cell phone. Your blasting horn hurts only the innocent bystanders who happen to be on the sidewalk when you lose your cool.

2. Also for drivers: please don't run a red light if it means careening through a crosswalk. As a pedestrian, I'm counting on you to not ruin my day by turning some lady and her kids into pancakes right before my eyes.

3. One more note for drivers: get off the phone. Are you that important that you need to be on your cell phone while you're driving? I don't think so.

4. Now, for my fellow pedestrians. Leave the golf-course umbrella at home. This is a city, my friends, and you are not the only person on the sidewalk. Those four-foot wide umbrellas leave the rest of us on the edge of the sidewalk or worse, in the street with cell-phone-addicted drivers.

5. Don't drag your feet. This is not of any major importance but listening to people drag their flipflops on cement annoys that $&%^ out of me.

6. Ladies: no loud shoes, please. When I'm walking behind you I don't really want to hear every step you take. Save the stilettos for the bedroom, where they belong.

7. Do not -- I repeat DO NOT -- get too close to me in line. Just this morning, I went into the local drug store to pick up a few items. The woman behind me was so close I could take her pulse. I moved up; she moved up. I moved over; she moved closer. We're in line at a drug store -- it's not a contact sport.

8. The same goes for standing at a crosswalk. If I wanted to have a conversation with you, I'd look you up on Match.com. A simple "hello" is wonderful, but let's not share our life stories, please.

9. Don't litter. That's so last century. Take your cigarette butts, or Starbucks cup, or bagel wrapper home and put it in your own trash can, o.k.?

10. Finally (and mind you, this is only one-tenth of my exhaustion-inspired list), unless you're a swimsuit model, you can pull your shirt down.

Until next time,

Conna